It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
