yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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