i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
