hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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