Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize