people are starting to question the shark bite story
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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