I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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