I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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