my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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