I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize