Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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