If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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