i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
