Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Randomize