Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
