I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
