I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
