Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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