i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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