peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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