I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
