What did we do last night that was yellow?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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