I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Still dying that you shit outside
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
