My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
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