How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
