when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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