I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
