the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
