he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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