Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
