I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
