thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
