This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
