well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize