If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I just want to make out with him forever
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
