Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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