Can Purell be used as lube?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do vagina's smell?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
