so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
