Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
