I heard we made out
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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