What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
literally had 100 drinks last night.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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