Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Banned from zoo.
Again?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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