What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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