i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
