That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize