yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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