sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
