Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize