you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
