Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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