so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
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