Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
