next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
