Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
