So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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