If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
