I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
