Yo dont text me then not text me
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
