he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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