I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
