Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize