so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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