I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I supernannyed him into submission
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
