Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i barfeds in our rink
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
