Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
