If i come over, it means nothing
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
