I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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