I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
