did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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