halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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