so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
