Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize