He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
