My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
